I’ve mentioned before that when couples first start out they aren’t going to have the perfect home right away. I’ve since decided that this extends to a lot of things as well, such as appliances.
Enter our washer and dryer.
The process of purchasing our condo happened all very fast and Howie wasn’t even in the province when we did so. I saw we had fairly new kitchen appliances, nothing fancy, but they were clean, matched the white cupboards, and seemed to check out fine. I remember glancing at the washer and dryer in the closet, thinking “cool! We have a washer and dryer too!” Then signed the purchase agreement without another thought.
Then after several weeks we decided to do our first load of laundry.
Enter hell on earth.
First of all, these General Electric babies are old. Definitely older than Howie and I, and I could safely bet money on the fact that these once cleaned pantaloons. I think after the washing board was out these things were the next invention.
Interpreting the dials on the washer was a chore in and of itself. Being somewhat environmental, I had up to this point been a firm cold-water wash girl only. Then it became very apparent (after we interpreted the dials via trial and error) that cold-wash was next to impossible in this old thing. Oh, it can offer cold water, but the clothes come out smelling like rusty old dogs and I swear they are even more dirty than when you put them in. No, with a washer like this you require as hot of a temperature as humanly possible to kill everything on your clothes. It’s the only way they become clean.
The dryer is a whole other mystery, one we haven’t solved yet. One of the dials came with scotch tape around it. I’m so intrigued to find out what would happen if I took it off! Would the whole machine collapse?!
Repeated experiments have failed to produce any clothes that are somewhat less wet than what you put in. At first when Howie said he couldn’t figure it out I thought he was doing that thing guys do where they feign incompetency to get out of household chores (“I don’t know how to fold a shirt.” “The oven doesn’t work when I push the buttons.” “The bed is always lumpy when I make it.”) But Howie wasn’t faking, this dryer will remain the world’s greatest unsolved mystery. We had to go Amish-style and purchase a drying rack. Wet clothes take over every available surface 3 ft from the ground. It’s madness!
I don’t know how much longer we can go on like this! HOW did people wash their clothes back in the old days?!
Out of desperation, we are offering $20 to ANYONE who can decipher the dryer’s code (It’s all we can afford, we are saving up for a new washer and dryer):