so this is why we married

I highly recommend honeymoons. If possible, just skip the wedding part and go straight into the honeymoon. Howie and I just spent two weeks exploring various ports of call on the the most magical Mediterranean cruise. Every aspect of this cruise was designed for romance. Rome, Florence, Venice, Greek islands, 24-hour room service chocolate cake, Aegean sea breezes on a private balcony… are you kidding me? Bush and Hussein would have sorted out their differences on a cruise like this (too far?)

But heed this warning, if you do go on a cruise, please, for the love of all that is good and holy, beware of the midnight buffet. In fact, just beware of all the cruise food. Howie and I came back with an extra 10 pounds… EACH. But in my defense, can any human being not eat homemade pasta in Italy? What kind of superhero could resist the unlimited ice cream bar? Obviously none. Four words: room-service chocolate cake.

Going into our honeymoon I had a subliminal goal; have Howie catch the travel bug. The poor guy had NEVER had a chance to leave North America and while I long to visit any all countries around the world and have been fortunate to travel some, Howie seemed apprehensive to visit countries that might be too unfamiliar or in his opinion “unsafe.” A Mediterranean cruise seemed like the perfect entry point toward becoming fashionable global jet-setters to other exotic lands. The first night in Rome took our breath away. Howie’s face lit up as soon as he set his eyes on the Colosseum. He was hooked.

Excellent…… muah ha ha!

For those interested to learn more about what we did here are highlights of our trip:

  • Accidentally finding a 1,000 year old church in Rome that was featured in Angels & Demons
  • Gladiators telling Howie to “take the knife, your wife, finish the problem.”
  • Touring the ancient brothel in Pompeii and giggling at the ancient, graphic frescos of “options”
  • Finding the most hideous statue of all in the Vatican collection
  • Howie riding a suicidal donkey up a Santorini cliff
  • Playing the Newlywed game in front of 300 fellow passengers, Howie disclosing he THINKS my bra size is “D” (Really?) Game Host: “Sir, you need to give me a number before that.” Howie: “There’s numbers before bra sizes?”
  • Eating fresh, tomato and basil gnocchi pasta (drool)
  • Getting into an altercation with a British woman over her vacant pool-side lounge chair that had to stay in the sunny spot despite the fact she was eating ice cream in a lawnchair 20 feet away in the shade (can you tell I’m still mad?)
  • Sexually molesting Michaelangelo’s great David statue (don’t worry, it was only the copy)
“Take the knife! Kill your wife!”

Graphic ancient fresco

The most hideous statue of the Vatican

Howie's suicidal donkey

Molesting a masterpiece

Best. Gnocchi. Ever. (P.S. I AM wearing clothes)

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