Howie and I went on our first official, out-of-the-house date night last week. Besides walks around the city we hadn’t had any romantic date nights since we got married. Once we got Monica, I noticed that most of our conversations revolved around our dog. I was starting to forget what we even talked about before she came into our lives.
Howie: Awww …. Cheryl! Come look at Monica. Look how cute she is lying on my chest!
Cheryl: OH MY GOODNESS! Hello my little miss! How is my little princess?! Oooo she is so cute I want to eat her face!
Monica: No Cheryl no! Don’t eat my face!
Cheryl: It’s just an expression Monica. Howie don’t you just love her little paws? I’ve never seen a dog with cuter paws.
Howie: I know they are so precious. Look at her eyes!
Cheryl: Oooo I know! Careful Howie don’t squish her eyebrows into her eyeballs.
Howie: I’m not.
Monica: He wasn’t Cheryl I like when Howie pets me.
Cheryl: Howie what are the three things you like the most about Monica?
Howie: Hmmmm… she’s such a sweetheart, she never craps in the house, and she likes to cuddle with me. And she likes to eat pizza
Monica: I do I love pizza. Let’s get the $5 deal tonight Cheryl.
Cheryl: We’ll see. My favourite things are her cute little eyebrows and how one piece crosses over to the other eye, her cute little paws, and how she stretches up on our legs when she wants to be pet. And I like how messy her little beard is in the morning. It’s like she has bed-beard.
Cheryl: You know like bed-head, except it’s bed-beard?
(And it goes on like this for hours)
I started to get really concerned when Monica’s voice took over Howie’s more than the majority of the time. By the time he accidentally called me lover in Monica’s voice I knew we had to change something. Howie sensed my depression one morning as he dropped me off at work. So when he asked if I’d like to go on a date with him that night I accepted gladly with a sense of relief!
Getting dressed up and going out for a romantic steak dinner was a much needed reminder that we need to do this stuff more often. As we drove home from our date we realized that we hadn’t even mentioned Monica’s name ONCE during that entire dinner! We felt so proud of ourselves but I wondered, did this make us bad pet-parents?
If you think we are annoying now, just wait until we are human-parents.