It’s time for another instalment of my long-distance survival guide. To understand my credentials on this subject please read about my relationship here. Last month we learned one very important lesson: don’t get crazy. Which is generally a lot easier said than done. Especially when you start to develop jealous alter-egos like Bertha.
For millennial couples long-distance has become an increasingly common relationship obstacle. We tend to travel the world a lot more, seek education farther away from our hometowns, and are more likely to entertain job opportunities which are across borders. Most modern couples will face distance challenges at some point in their relationship. As a long-distance relationship survivor, I’m striving to help other couples make it through.
This month I’m going to divulge a few tips on how to cope with the sadness and general sense of loneliness that can set in when your loved one isn’t around.
Tip 2. Share your best friends’ boyfriends. Now before you get the wrong idea, let me clarify that this is not some sort of inappropriate suggestion so get your mind out of the gutter! What I mean by sharing your girlfriends’ boyfriends is to interject yourself on the dates and special moments of your very best friends’ relationships. Take on the delightful role as third wheel and have the dating experience even if your guy isn’t around. I did this all the time with huge levels of success. As the token “best friend” your approval is absolutely critical to your best friend so their boyfriend is going to
put up with gladly bring you along on the special moments he plans with her. If he’s particularly interested in impressing your friend, he’s going to insist on paying for all your drinks and expensive dinners, even if you repeatedly offer to cover for yourself. Eventually I even stopped offering to pay for myself because I knew how much they wanted to impress my friend. Interjecting myself on my friends’ dates provided some of the most fun experiences of my university years.
Tip 3. Befriend Vino. As much fun as you can have as the third wheel, sometimes the ache of missing your own boyfriend to hold hands with accross the table can become overwhelming. I do not recommend reaching out to your friend’s boyfriend’s hands, this does not go over well. Instead, reach out to a corkscrew and open that bottle of wine. No, I’m not recommending drinking your problems away, I’m merely suggesting that with a glass of wine in hand you can feel like classy, independent woman who can still have a good time even if her boyfriend is out of town. On one occasion, Vino helped me find my own date, the gargoyle statue at our place-setting. I look back on that night with fond memories.
Tip 4. Keep his sweater. Okay I admit, it’s a little creepy. But in all honesty having an oversized sweater around that smells exactly like your beau allows you to feel an instant connection even if he’s miles apart. For me, it was especially comforting on those days when I had to stay home because I wore out my welcome on my friends’ dates. The smell of stale pizza and Old Spice spray deodorant instantly took me back to a better time when he was around. As a disclaimer, I must caution you against over-using this technique. There’s a fine line between “girl missing her boyfriend” and “crazy lady living in a stinky man-sweater for weeks.” Only employ this technique when others are not around and DO NOT use any other items of clothing or material. This week it’s a sweater, next week you could be ironing his picture onto a pillow. Do not let it get to that level.
I hope these tips have inspired long-distance-lovers to keep at it! Next instalment I will be discussing ways to help a couple feel connected from afar. Until then, what tips and advice do you guys have for overcoming the sense of loneliness when your significant other is away? (Hopefully it doesn’t involve iron-on image pillows).