Even though our wedding was four months ago Howie and I still like to reminisce about it. We look through the photos every now and then and discuss how amazing all the speeches were (especially the one about throw pillows).
Even though my wedding is over I still have wedding fever. I’m pumped be a bridesmaid in my sister’s and two best friends’ weddings next year, I still stalk the wedding blogs, and (surprise) I’m even a certified wedding planner as of last month! Everything about weddings still gives me starry eyes and if I could I would want to do my whole wedding over again (a couple times) just so I could incorporate more and more unique ideas.
As a former bride who has recently gone through the whole wedding thing, I’ve decided to start a series of blogs that will offer soon-to-be-married couples advice on making it to (and through) the big day with your sanity intact. This blog series is called “Wedding Reflections” – I call this the benefit of hindsight.
Wedding Reflection #1: Appreciate your groom’s attempts to help (even if his ideas suck).
Howie will admit that in the relationship I am considered the “creative one.” I had a lot of DIY projects planned for our day from the invitations, ceremony programs, my headpiece, centrepieces, and a whole lot of other things that involved a lot of birch stumps. For the most part I would come up with ideas, ask Howie what he thought, and he would reply, “Good job babe.” It was an ideal situation.
Roughly three months before the wedding my whole vision was coming together. I used shades of forest green and dark plum in all the details to fit the green, woodsy feel of our golf course wedding reception venue. Howie was finally back in town from school and we went for our meal tasting at the golf course. Then BAM!
Without warning, notification, or any “heads-up,” the once dark green, neutral, un-noticable carpet of the reception hall was now a psychedelic, swirly, bright, bold-pattered red, black, beige and grey carpet. I was HORRIFIED. After holding in my anger, shock and sadness throughout the tasting, I was ready to BLOW by the time we got back in the car.
Howie: What is wrong babe? You look like you’re going to cry!
Cheryl: Did you NOT SEE the carpet Howie?!
Howie: Carpet? Why? What’s wrong with the carpet?
Cheryl: Oh PLEASE tell me you are joking Howie! How could you NOT notice the carpet! It’s just awful! It’s RED! It’s hideous! It looks like a herd of cats threw up and then died and were smushed to form a carpet!
Howie: It can’t be that bad. I didn’t even notice the carpet.
Cheryl: My whole vision is ruined! RUINED! Purple and green with RED AND BEIGE AND BLACK?! That is the WORST colour combination I could possibly think of! Actually, it’s so hideous I don’t think I could even THINK UP that combination on my own. What were they thinking?! Don’t they realize that brides select decor based on the LOOK OF THE VENUE?
Howie: They do? Oh babe it’s not the end of the world. People won’t even notice!
Cheryl: BAAAHHHH! Yes they will. It’s impossible not to. It’s over Howie. It’s no use. Nothing can be done to correct this. Our wedding is going to be hideous. BAHHH!
Howie: It’s not going to be hideous. We can think of something to fix it. What if you just lay a big cloth over the whole floor?
Cheryl: A cloth Howie? (sniff sniff) That doesn’t even make sense.
Howie: Ok well maybe we can think of something that will bring the colours together. Have you definitely picked out the flowers yet? Do they have to be purple?
Cheryl: Howie! I don’ want to change the colour of my flowers!
Howie: Just hear me out – so the bridesmaids dresses and everything are purple, the carpet is red – red and purple make pink right? So just get pink flowers and then everything will go together.
Cheryl: (Tears were streaming down my face. I stared at him blankly) Howie… are you serious? Red and purple would make a gross brown.
Howie: Ok well get brown flowers then, it will bring all the colours together.
(A long pause, there were so many things wrong with what he just said that I didn’t know where to start, the following came out in a jumbled, crying, crazy rant).
Cheryl: Brown flowers Howie? BROWN flowers? Brown flowers are DEAD flowers. Are you actually saying we should have bouquets of dead flowers at our wedding?! How would that make it better?! BAHHH! You don’t understand me! You don’t get it! BAHHH!
Howie: Ok Cheryl I’ve had it! I’ve tried to help and you’re just being ridiculous. Listen to yourself! You are crying over a carpet. A CARPET!
Cheryl: BAHHH! You will never understand! I’m texting my friend! BAHHH!
In this situation Howie was genuinely concerned and trying to help me feel better about the red carpet. Unfortunately, I experienced a lapse in sanity and couldn’t see past the brown flowers comment to appreciate the fact that my fiance was only trying to help. The take-away lesson here is that it’s important to appreciate the gesture of a helping hand and comfort, even if it’s a bad idea. It wasn’t Howie’s fault that the venue’s carpets were red, and balling like a crazed maniac certainly didn’t diffuse or help the situation. So ladies, don’t freak out about uncontrollable situations to the guy who is trying to be there for you.
In the end, we rented dark charcoal tablecloths to draw attention away from the carpet based on the genius suggestion of my dear friend (and wedding planner) Kate. No brown flowers were needed.
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