I had a really interesting discussion with some girlfriends last week day about careers, babies, and mat leaves. We are all in our mid-late 20s and feel like we have to start thinking about planning a family. We realized that nearly all of our mothers at this age had one or two kids by this point in their lives and most of us felt some sort of growing pressure to have a plan about this kind of thing.
Plan. Is it just me or does there seem to be less and less mystery when it comes to having children these days? Within a marriage, having children just seems like a next step you intentionally take once you have the wedding, jobs, home, (and maybe dog) checked off your list. It’s methodical, intentional, and in many cases, 100% controlled and planned for.
I’m a big fan of plans. I like to know what’s going to happen and when so that I can allocate resources and savings as necessary. I must admit, however, that there is something to be said about leaving some of life’s greatest gifts up to God. Now, I’m not about to go all Dugger-style and start have 19+ kids (and counting) but I’m starting to at least appreciate the merit of not trying to control everything when it comes to having a family.
But I think, generally speaking, this millennial generation of mine is incredibly surprise-adverse.
Surprises are not good unless it involves finding a $20 on the sidewalk. With our lives, relationships, and careers we like to know where we stand, where we are going, and how we are going to get there. One of our biggest concerns is not having enough money to get to where we want to go. The number one reason you will hear millennial couples say they are waiting to have kids is because “we don’t have enough money.” In reality, this generation generally has SO much more, much faster, and much sooner than our grandparents and parents ever did.
The baby market makes a killing off of the millennial generation’s need to control every aspect of life. Just look at this book, “What to Expect BEFORE You’re Expecting.”
Before I’m expecting? What could this book possibly be about? Besides chapter one: take some prenatal vitamins, I have no idea what kind of content could fill this literary work. Expect to fit into all your normal clothes, expect to still be able to bend over and tie your shoes as per usual, expect to go to work full time, expect to eat sushi and drink wine like you normally do? I don’t get it.
I can’t judge. I’m no different. I’m not going to stop making plans about these kind of things and I doubt other people will either. At least we can all admit it’s a little ridiculous right?
Thoughts? Are we a generation who over-plans?