When it comes to building personal relationships, there are a few things you should know:
- If people laugh at my jokes and attempts at humour I will love them
- If people “get” my weird accents I will love them even more
- Howie has turned me into a semi-Star Trek fan (this is irrelevant to building personal relationships but you need to know this fact for later on)
A sense of humour and a love of dorky things are very important to me. People who are very self-aware tend to have the best senses of humour. If we laugh together, we can be friends. When it comes to my romantic relationship with Howie nothing is more important to me (besides love, trust, etc) than being able to laugh and share hilarious interests together. It is imperative that Howie understands and appreciates the things I find funny.
After a year of trying to get him into Modern Family without avail I was sure our relationship was doomed. Finally, this Christmas he gave me the best gift ever; the first season of Modern Family on DVD with the promise that he would watch and “get into it.” His sounds of laughter and urge to run out and get the second season was music to my ears. Finally, I could rest assured that this marriage would last now that he understood how hilarious Phil Dunfey truly is. (See below: Exhibit A)
Laughter is a huge part of a relationship. Even for people who don’t place as high of a stake in a sense of humour as I do. If you and your sweetie-poo can be completely dorky with each other, without fearing judgement, you know you’ve found a keeper. It’s important to delve into each other’s oft hidden and embarrassing interests. I reciprocate the gesture for Howie. Now is the time to remember that bit about Star Trek. You also need to remember Howie’s obsessive interest in Survivor.
(Sitting on the couch watching Star Trek) Me: Whoa what's this about? Was Geordi in the holodeck* that entire time? You mean he wasn't on a date with that chick? Howie: Nope! Me: I see. I wish we had holodecks eh? What kind of holodeck would you progr- Howie: Survivor! Me: That was a quick response. You must've thought about Survivor holodeck before... Howie: Obviously. That would be so cool. I would program it so that I couldn't lose. Me: What's the point in that? That isn't satisfying if you just programmed the characters to let you win! Howie: Well maybe I wouldn't program them to let me win, but I would make it so that if I got voted out it would just restart to a point in the game where I could make a different move... Me: Ooo that is cool! So you could like, play and try different strategies with the same characters until you found a way to win... Howie: Exactly! Me: Which characters would you want to play with? Howie: Oh you know which ones I like... Russell, Rob, Parvarti... basically the entire cast of Heroes vs. Villians. Me: I should have known. Howie: This sucks. Now you've got me excited about something that could never happen. (Long pause) Me: You never know Howie, with technology these days holodecks might be invented soon... Howie: I meant Survivor... they will never accept Canadians.
True love means that you can laugh together, be dorky together, and “get” each other’s lameness without judgement.
When it comes to building lasting relationships, what dorky
things do you need friends or significant others to “get”?
* Holodeck: simulated reality facility located on starships and starbases in the fictional Star Trek universe