Oh yes. It’s back by popular demand. The Modern Wife’s introspection into some of the most head-scratching differences between men and women as discovered through extensive research and observation of the male species. Well, the male species as observed in one specimen, namely my husband Howard.
So one would think that a date night at the movies would be easy right? I mean, in nearly ten years of having a relationship we’ve probably seen hundreds of movies together. However, the longer I’ve been with Howie, the tougher I’m finding it to compromise on our movie selections. It’s as if the longer we’ve been together, and the more “comfortable” he gets, the less likely he is to watch a chick flick with me. What’s up with that?
Travel back to December 2002 and you will find a sweet, caring, ever-so-eager-to-please 16 year old Howie who couldn’t be happier to escort his girlfriend of one month to Maid in Manhattan. Fast forward about 9.8 years and into 11 months of marriage and you have a 26 year old Howard who dragged his wife not once, but twice to see Avengers in the theatre without even repaying the favour with a subsequent chick flick. Oh the humanity!
So with the final instalment of the Dark Knight series coming out this Friday you can imagine my “delight” to see yet another lame action movie based on comic book characters. My attitude is not sitting well with Howie, he is appalled at my lack of enthusiasm and can’t even fathom why I’m not pleased to be lining up 1.5 hours before the movie even starts.
After failing to pre-order his precious movie passes online due to an internet issue, Howie decided to drag me to the actual movie theatre on a Tuesday night so he could buy them ahead of time for this Saturday.
Cheryl: Hey! Since I’m going to see Dark Knight with you Saturday, why don’t we go and see Katy Perry’s movie tonight?
Howie: (Loud laughter) Yah right! I would never go see that movie! Why would you even want to see it?
Cheryl: I don’t know, it looked kind of fun… plus it reveals how her divorce with Russell Brand went down!
Howie: No way Cheryl. I could never see that movie.
Cheryl: Funny how you drag me around to watch your lame movies but you won’t even see one movie I want to see!
Howie: (Gasps, struggling for air) LAME movie Cheryl? I hope you are kidding. Dark Knight is probably going to be the most successful movie of all time. Have you even watched the previews? It’s sick! It’s going to be awesome!
Cheryl: On a scale of one to ten on how excited I am to see that movie, I’m probably a two.
Howie: (Gasps, shocked) Two?! You are only excited at a two level?!?
Cheryl: It would probably be a low one if it weren’t for the frozen yogurt.
Howie: I do not understand your taste in movies at all.
Cheryl: Well it’s way better than your taste. Remember how awful Avengers was? What was that? Some evil “moon-prince” wanted to make people bow down to his glowing sceptre? So lame.
Howie: (Coughs) Ummm… well millions of people agree with me Cheryl. It made the most money of all time, and it’s record is only going to be broken by the Dark Knight.
Cheryl: Just because millions of teenage boys also go to the same movies you do, does not mean you have good taste. This is the same audience that made Sponge Bob famous.
Howie: Whatever Cheryl. Clearly I have the better taste in movies. Yours are all the same. Couple falls in love, they have a problem, and then oh look! They end up together.
Cheryl: Not all the time, in The Vow it was left unclear whether they end up together!
Howie: Oh The Vow was one of the worst of them! You only like it because of that Tating Channum guy!
Cheryl: It’s Channing Tatum, and no, I don’t like the movie because of him.
Howie: Well I’m just as good looking as him anyway. Those girls of yours thought I looked exactly like him … (smirks)
Cheryl: Howie my girls’ group was standing like 100 feet away from you and couldn’t see that clearly. Plus, they were like thirteen years old.
Howie: Still…. (checks himself out in the mirror)
At that point we had arrived at the theatre and Howie went in to buy the Dark Knight tickets for Saturday. He came out holding them as if they were the Holy Grail or something then placed them carefully in the centre console of our car. I will go and see Dark Knight with Howie. But he’s going to have to return the favour. It’s only fair.
I’m going to make him watch something so ridiculously sappy he’s going to be wishing he had agreed to Katy Perry. Yes… (evil laugh)… some sort of historically-set romance, preferably in 18th century England…with accents….and Colin Firth….
Are there any lucky ones out there who share their significant other’s taste in movies?!
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